I will NEVER stop being thrilled that elopements have become so much more popular these past few years. The amount of couples I’ve seen throw tradition to the wind in the name of a completely one-of-a-kind day that feels authentic to them + them alone. . . makes me so happy y’all. The celebrations where couples focus on + prioritize their desires and their dreams are the ones that always turn out the best—which is why I wanted to put together this guide with 12 ways to break wedding traditions on your elopement day. For each of the wedding traditions on this list, I’ve included an elopement alternative you can do instead, as well as some real-life examples from my past couples.

2025 is the year of doing things your way, and saying to hell with tradition—so consider this your permission slip to curate an elopement day that works for your unique relationship, leaving out anything that doesn’t make sense and including only what does. You truly can make your elopement anything you want, and I hope that all the examples I’m about to share, show you what’s really possible.

Keep in mind that elopements aren’t just about escaping tradition, though—they’re about making space for what truly matters. No expectations, no noise, just the two of you. Whether that means picking and choosing wedding traditions that you enjoy, or completely disregarding all of them, there’s no right or wrong answer here: what’s right is simply what’s right for YOU. If anything I say doesn’t feel good to you, ignore it!

Wedding tradition: Big group dinner with your guests

Elopement alternative: Have a private catered dinner in the forest

Instead of planning a full catered meal for you and your guests, why not curate a private dinner for just the two of you in a beautiful, secluded location?

I totally get why group dinners are popular: because there’s nothing more special than enjoying intimate moments of connection with the people you love over a delicious meal. And that is ABSOLUTELY something you can do—in fact, a lot of my couples like to include a group meal at the end of their day to celebrate!

But if you’d rather keep the festivities to yourselves, find a spot out in nature where you can enjoy a quiet dinner with just the two of you. Make it as romantic and cozy as possible—maybe you bring out a few candles (if it’s safe to have fire in the area), set up a mini tablescape full of flowers and beautiful decor, or enjoy a picnic on a blanket atop a grassy lawn. 

I’m still obsessing over Chase and Samantha’s elopement dinner—they planned a private dinner for two catered in the middle of a twilight forest. . . and let me tell you, it was pure magic. Sitting next to each other under only the glow of candlelight, at a table covered in floral arrangements + glistening glassware, they enjoyed a fully catered meal surrounded by the tranquility of the forest. It was a dream come true and the most incredible way to end the day on a slow, intentional, and peaceful note.

BONUS IDEA: Cook your own meal in you Airbnb

If you and your partner love to cook together, you could even make your own elopement dinner! This is exactly what Kari and Sean did, heading back to their Airbnb after their ceremony on the coast to make a home-cooked meal together. When the light hit just right, we ran around their front yard beach access and soaked up the most glorious orange sunset, before heading back to their sweet cooking date.

For more unique elopement meal + dinner ideas, check out this blog post!

Wedding tradition: First dance in front of all your guests

Elopement alternative: A private first dance in a secluded location

I know a lot of couples don’t love the performance aspect of first dances at weddings, or think that because they’re eloping, they can’t have a traditional first dance. I say why the heck not?! If it would be special for the two of you to share a dance at some point during your elopement, you can absolutely make that happen—either in front of your guests, or in private. I’m a big fan of private first dances because it completely takes away that pressure to perform, as well as any embarrassment/nerves you might feel about dancing in front of people. All your first dance needs to be is you + your love, in the moment, embracing the beauty of the day—whether it lasts for 30 seconds or the entirety of your favorite song.

I’ve had so many couples share an intimate, romantic first dance while we snap portraits after their ceremony, or once we’re back at their Airbnb before/after dinner. . . it’s really up to you when you want to do it. You can plan it in your timeline, or choose to just put on your first dance song + start swaying whenever the moment feels right. I loved how Karley and Kam literally danced in the rain on the Oregon Coast for theirs, creating such a precious memory they’ll for sure remember for the rest of their lives!

Wedding tradition: Cramming everything into one rushed day

Elopement alternative: Splitting your celebration into multiple days

One of the biggest mistakes I see couples make when planning their elopement is trying to cram SO many things into one day. This probably comes from the fact that big weddings usually take place all in one day, so couples think they have to make everything fit into one 12-hour time period—when really, there’s no rule that says you have to do that! 

I highly recommend splitting your elopement up into multiple days if that’s a feasible option for you, since it’ll give you so much more time to slow down, be present, and go with the flow of your celebration.

Multi-day elopements are also an amazing option for couples who want time both with their guests and by themselves—you can use one day to celebrate alongside your friends and fam, and one day to be only with each other. Which day you do your ceremony is up to you; some couples want a private ceremony while some want to have their loved ones by their side! Splitting your celebration up into multiple days is an incredible way to get the best of both worlds.

Wedding tradition: Expensive wedding favors for your guests

Elopement alternative: Permanent favors for the two of you

Remember the days when couples would buy a massive amount of wedding favors that their guests would probably never even use? Bubble canisters, framed photos of the newlyweds or little figurines in their shape. . . I’m sure the tradition of wedding favors started out with good intentions, but they honestly turned into a kind of unnecessary (and expensive) part of wedding planning!

Instead of putting your money toward wedding favors for 100+ guests like you would at a big wedding, it would be SO fun to put it toward matching tattoos at the end of the day! Kinda like a wedding favor for the two of you to remember the day by, except it’s wayyy more fun and will actually last forever. This is what Karley + Kam did at the end of their elopement and it was one of the most fun and unique things I’ve ever seen. They literally had a tattoo artist come to their Airbnb and ink ‘em up right there while they were still dressed in their elopement attire. So badass, creative, and definitely a memory they’ll remember for the rest of their lives.

Wedding tradition: Decorations based on a trend or something you saw on Pinterest

Elopement alternative: Decorations based on a theme you love/a hobby you share

Pinterest can be an amazing place to find inspo for your elopement decor, but it can also be super easy to just fall into whatever’s trending + choose decor that doesn’t really match your unique relationship. So instead of following what’s popular at the time of your elopement, plan your decor around a unique hobby, passion, or style the two of you love!

Nicole + Nigel, for example, have a love for all things antique, so it was only fitting that they chose a historic campsite in Oregon as the backdrop for their celebration + incorporated so many antique touches into their day. 

From the charming covered bridge nearby to the carefully curated decor they thrifted and antiqued themselves, every detail was a nod to their passion for the past. Even their wedding attire was vintage, bringing a timeless touch to their celebration. Surrounded by their closest family and friends, they spent a magical weekend soaking up the beauty of this serene location. 

And the best part? Their love story continued with a cross-country honeymoon road trip, hitting all their favorite antique shops along the way. So much fun, right?!

Wedding tradition: Spending all day with your guests

Elopement alternative: Spending half the day with guests, and half on your own

Remember how I talked about the option of a multi-day elopement, and how that gives you the chance to have private time as well as time with your loved ones?

If a multi-day elopement isn’t possible for you due to time or budget constraints, you can absolutely do the same kind of thing in a single day by splitting it in half. Either you spend the morning with your guests and the afternoon/evening by yourselves, or vice-versa.

Here’s a great example of how a split-day elopement can allow for a much more intentional, relaxed day:

When I first talked to one of my couples, Luisa + Grace, about their elopement day, I asked them to tell me their whole day dreams + plans. They told me about their dreams of wanting to write letters to each other, to their families the morning of their wedding, then do yoga on the beach. After a few hours of just relaxing, they wanted a ceremony on the beach, and time to explore, run around, have a first dance + “hopefully” enjoy a pretty sunset just the two of them. ⁣

So normally, as the photographer I would’ve only been there for the 2nd half of their dream plans, but I knew I couldn’t miss the letter writing + the yoga on the beach, so we made a custom package to split their day into 2 parts so I could capture the full story.⁣

I showed up to their Airbnb in the morning, they had all their scrapbook supplies out, wrote letters, drew cutie pictures and spent time together before having the most beautiful yoga beach session. ⁣

I met back up with them a few hours later to capture their getting ready, first look, and ceremony on the beach! After exploring the beach for their ceremony, we quickly ran to the car, headed to the final location, and noticed the sunset was getting more and more epic (which is honestly so rare in the Spring for Oregon). . . so once we got to the parking lot, I basically told them we had to RUN to get the good photos. So we ran half a mile down a wild trail, and it was so worth it to have this epic coastline, with the most perfect sunset, pretty much all to ourselves!

This day was the perfect example of how amazing it can be to spend part of your day with the people you love, and part of it celebrating on your own.

Wedding tradition: Booking a big venue with space for your guests

Elopement alternative: Booking a cabin or campsite with a more intimate feel

If you’re inviting guests to your elopement and want to have a space to celebrate together, rather than booking a super expensive venue. . . how about booking a cozy cabin or campsite that allows for a much more laid-back, intimate feel (and a lower price tag)?

Campsites are SUCH a fun location for a super casual post-ceremony celebration with loved ones, whether you want to have a chill picnic with a drink cooler + s’mores by the fire, or a small catered dinner at the nearest picnic table!

Wedding tradition: Ceremony in front of all your guests

Elopement alternative: Private vow exchange just the two of you

Dreading the idea of saying your emotional vows in front of a group of people? You don’t have to! You can opt for a private ceremony, instead, and keep the moment just between you and your partner. This is a PERFECT option for couples who are nervous about being in front of an audience or simply would rather keep their words just between the two of them. This is even a great option for bigger weddings; you can share your private, personal vows during your first look, and then just recite the traditional wedding vows at your public ceremony!

Wedding tradition: Getting ready separately

Elopement alternative: A slow morning spent getting ready together

Traditionally, couples get ready separately on the morning of their wedding, but I’ve loved seeing so many of my eloping couples choose to get ready together instead. Why spend so much time apart on your wedding day when you could be spending it all together?! 

Getting ready together also means you have the opportunity to include meaningful activities and create beautiful moments before the official stuff even starts. . . maybe this means taking your dogs on a walk together, or making breakfast with your family, like Ashley + Tanner did. Helping each other put on the final touches of your elopement attire is a super emotional + meaningful moment you’ll never forget.

Wedding tradition: Making your kids the flower girl/ring bearer

Elopement alternative: Including your kids in meaningful ways they’ll love

If you and your partner have kiddos, there are so many more meaningful ways to include them in your special day than just having them toss flowers or carry your rings during your ceremony. Why not find a way to include them in the day that they’ll love + have so much fun with, and that feels authentic to your family?

One of my favorite examples of this was during Abby + Royce’s elopement day, when they played baseball on the beach with their kids before their ceremony! It was the sweetest way to create core memories together in a beautiful location, on such a momentous day.

For more meaningful ways to include your kids in your elopement, check out this blog.

Wedding tradition: Trying to fit tons of activities + events into a rushed timeline

Elopement alternative: Slowing down + building time to be present

I know it can be tempting to pack a billion things into your elopement timeline because you want to do as MUCH as possible, but I’ll be honest: the most beautiful, memorable moments are the ones in between the big stuff. . . the ones where you’re holding each other’s hands on the way to your ceremony, or you’re sipping a hot coffee on a chilly day at the beach. I really encourage all of my couples to slow down as much as possible on their elopement days, and find magic in the little moments—like one of my couples who found secret swings on a coastal overlook, cruised along the coast on longboards, and stopped for flavored Redbulls along the way. Whether it’s exploring hidden gems, adding personal touches, or simply soaking in the moment together, the possibilities are endless. ⁣

I know how difficult it can be to slow down in a world where everything feels so rushed, and you always feel behind schedule. . . so here are 10 ways to slow down + be present on your wedding day.

Wedding tradition: Spending money on an officiant you barely know

Elopement alternative: Booking a photographer that can also officiate your ceremony

My favorite elopement hack for couples who don’t want to spend the money to hire a random officiant for their ceremony: I am ordained + can “officiate” your elopement or intimate wedding!

I would love to help y’all find the perfect ceremony spot, and then before you get started, I’ll step back so I can capture you saying your vows, exchanging rings + the big kiss! ⁣You don’t need me to “speak” for y’all, unless you really want me to pronounce ya’ll married, but I truly think that your vows say it all for yourselves.⁣

I will gladly sign your paperwork for you, find random people on the trail or back in the parking lot to “witness” your ceremony, then mail it off for you!⁣ Aside from being less expensive than hiring somebody else, it honestly just makes the day so much easier not having to worry about coordinating with an officiant, or making sure they step away from your ceremony at the right time so you can have your privacy.

Obviously it’s completely your prerogative whether you want to hire a separate officiant, but if you want to kill two birds with one stone, I’m here for it

And speaking of photographers who can officiate. . . hi, I’m Dawn—an elopement + micro wedding photographer who specializes in lifestyle documentary photography. It’s my job to help you craft an elopement day that feels so wholly genuine and authentic to your love story, and then document it for you to look back on forever. If you’re ready to begin your adventure and bring your dream vision to life, reach out here; I can’t wait to create magic with you.

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For more tips on how to craft a one-of-a-kind elopement day that feels true to your unique relationship, check out the resources below:

How to Plan A Meaningful Elopement: My Top 10 Tips

10 Ways to Include Family + Friends In Your Elopement

Why You Should Add Film Photography to Your Elopement